Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight
 -Proverbs 3:5-6

Y'all, I have been struggling with this a lot lately. I want to know RIGHT NOW what my life is going to be and what the next few years are going to hold. I know that I want to become a child life specialist, and I know that I want to spend my life with Stuart. What I don't know is when, where, and how this will all happen and it is K.I.L.L.I.N.G. me.

I am so type-A. So very type-A. I make lists of everything. I plan everything. In fact, one of my biggest flaws is over-planning. Right now I am really struggling with getting everything in on a time table. I feel like all of these obstacles in my career course keep getting thrown at me and I am not quite sure what to do. I thought I had this all planned out, and yet, maternity leaves and programs hesitant to accept undergrads have my plans all in a tailspin. I don't know where Stuart is going to get a job, and as much as I know that at twenty-two I should have a career focus, that doesn't mean I am not ready to live in the same city as him!

I know God has a plan for me. And despite that, I still find myself stressing out over this entire situation. I want things to be settled down. I want to help people. And the fact that it is going to take me until 2013 almost is freaking me out. I am ready to be an adult, to take care of myself, to stop being a burden on my parents. Fortunately, they have the means to support me and I am so entirely thankful to them for doing that. I know not everyone is spoiled the way I am. But I am ready to be out of school. And I am ready to start the next chapter, wherever that may be. I just need to know when and where that is.

So right now, I am trying to trust in the plan. I am trying to take a deep breath, take things day by day and not over-plan. But I am definitely going to need some prayers to do that. So, if you are the prayin' kind, I would love to make it on your prayer list. 

Sorry for the heavy post. It has been laying on my heart lately and since this is my record, I want to be able to look back on this when all is said and done and see how I was feeling.

Happy Tuesday (almost Wednesday) y'all!


Charlotte said...

I feel you 100%! I have one of those posts coming soon I feel. Its so hard to just let go and let God take control. I am learning that the hard way. Philippians 4:6 is a really great verse that usually feels better. If you can grab a copy of Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow, read it! My Bible study is doing it and it is very helpful! Even if you scan over it in Barnes and Noble! You will be in my prayers for sure. The "unknown" and looking ahead is so hard and I promise I know how you feel! I'm learning that things happen when they are meant to be, which is hard to see right now. Hang in there and let me know if I can be any more support!! xoxo

Kaylee said...

I have been there and I am still in the world of not knowing what will happen next. I completely understand how you want to be with your guy, but are not ready to be in the same town. I struggled with moving to Falls Church to pursue a Master's, instead of waiting for my guy to finish his degrees. Everything will work out. We are young and have so many more adventures ahead of us.

Also good luck on your second degree!

Claire said...

All I can say is, trust in the plan! I know a LOT more than I let on about making one plan for yourself and having it completely destroyed. I'll go into detail with you via email but I won't say it because I've never shared it anywhere in the blog world (I don't think...) BUT I had a plan, I had someone to work this plan out with, and I ended up cutting off this plan and starting a new one with God's help. It was the best thing I've ever done. Enter Mr. C and I knew I'd made the right choice. You have the right attitude! You got this! xoxoxo

Brittany said...

This is one of my favorite verses! I feel like I am struggling with the same things. I have my degree, but I can't find a job in my field so it is getting discouraging! I know I just need to trust God because he has a plan for me! I will be praying for you and I need your prayers as well! :)