Y'all, I'm gonna be honest for a bit. It has been a rough week around here. I haven't been feeling like myself and I have spent a lot of time down on my knees praying and a lot of time wrapped up in Stuart's arms trying to figure it out. I'm still not sure if I have it all figured out, but I am feeling more like myself today. Praise the Lord. But seriously. I have been begging to feel "normal" since about Tuesday.
Point being, I know Valentine's Day is coming up, and I am fortunate to be spending my weekend with my valentine. My view right now?
Him jamming it out with his roommates/best friend's in the basement of their house. I love to watch him play, because he is totally in his element. And it makes him happy, which makes me happy. He is always happy, which is such a balance to my sometimes serious nature. I need that happy, I need that goofy in my life.
He drives me crazy more than anyone I know. His constant need to be picking at me whenever he is bored makes me more nutty than a pb&j. But I love this man. I love that he has picked the pieces up of my life this week, he has let me talk through things that weren't easy, he's asked me what is going on and he has held me while I cried and told me that we would figure things out. He has prayed with me and reasoned with me and held my hand. And while the mushy gushy love stuff is nice; it is the real stuff, the hard stuff, the "we can make it through anything" that makes it worth it. He loves the ugly me, the crying me, the mean me and the broken me. I am so lucky to have him.
I gave him a devotional we have been doing for seriously dating/engaged couples and I am learning a lot from it. I hope he is learning a lot from it. We have been talking a lot about it, and God's role in our relationship and where that will bring us. He is so science minded and he has a hard time with the reasoning for things. I'll admit, I do too. But I am so glad this is something we are talking about and working on together. With the two of us and God wrapped around us, I know things will be okay and turn out the way they should.
I know this was a little deep, and random, and honestly that has been my head lately. Any prayers you have, just for some peace and calm would be lovely. I am a huge control freak and someone who makes rash decisions, and lately God has been telling me to "wait". I'm not sure what I'm waiting for, but I know he is teaching me lots of patience. And I need that lesson.
Hope y'all are having a great weekend! Stuart's going to play with his buddies for a while, and we may go out to dinner, which was our original plan, or we may stay in and do something more low key. He is letting me decide. Love that man. I especially love that he showed up yesterday with a rose and a cookie and this morning with another single rose and some pretzel M&M's. Told ya'll he knows his woman ;)